The “Maid of Honor”
I just saw the movie “Maid of Honor” with my hubby. Without getting into a movie review, since this is not the goal of this post, let me give you a short description of the movie’s plot. This romantic comedy revolves around two friends who have been platonic friends for 10 years. Tom is a not the marrying type, while Hannah wants to find Mr. Right. She finally found him during her Scotland trip. The wedding date was set and Hannah decided to ask Tom, her best friend, to become her “Maid of Honor”. The story goes on with a happily-ever-after ending.
At the end of the movie, my hubby, who lovingly calls me his “wedding fanatic”, asked me if having a guy as the maid of honor is acceptable in “real” weddings. Interesting question. Some brides-to-be might be interested to know, as well. So I am sharing my answer with you. There is no rule in any wedding etiquette book that says only women can be maid of honors.
If you do chose to have a guy to be your maid of honor, he would be called the “honor attendant”. The title is not as important as the duties that a “maid of honor” or MOH needs to fulfill. He still has the duties that MOH’s traditionally do, except traditionally “feminine” duties like helping you get into your wedding gown, straightening your veil and train. But, he still can go with you to choose your gown, shoes, jewelries, the dishes pattern and all the tiny pre-wedding details that brides need to attend to.
Some of MOH duties are:
- Arrange a bridal shower
- Help the bride with addressing envelopes
- Record wedding or bridal shower gifts
- Hold the bride’s bouquet while she exchanges rings with the groom
- Hold the groom’s wedding ring (or retrieve the ring from the ring bearer’s pillow)
- Lend support in emotional crisis
- Listen with compassion, give wise advice, and be a true friend
- Have a sense of humor to keep the stressed-out bride laughing
During the ceremony, your honor attendant stands on your side. In the processional and recessional, he can walk in before the rest of the bride’s attendants, or, if there are more bridesmaids than usher, escort one of the bridesmaids. In summary, the MOH or HA exist, foremost, to help you, the bride, in ensuring that every tiny detail of your wedding are taken cared of efficiently and effectively so you can have the wedding of your dreams.
The movie “Maid of Honor” has raised a question - Can you ask a male best friend as your “maid of honor” and what would be his duties?
May 3, 2008
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