Planning for Second Wedding

HOW TO HANDLE YOUR SECOND TRIP DOWN THE ISLE

Planning for Second Wedding

Second weddings may have once been a unique and rare occurrence, but they are becoming increasingly more common.  For this reason, couples don’t need to worry as much about what’s acceptable when it comes to their second wedding.  The most important rule to follow is to do what feels right for you and your family.

Should you tell your ex?
The most difficult part about planning a second wedding may at first be deciding what to do about ex-spouses.  If you have children, it is polite to inform your ex about your engagement.  This can be done in a simple letter or email if you do not frequently speak with each other.  It will be easier on the children involved if they are not put in a position of wondering what they can and cannot say to their other parent.  If you do not have children with your ex, you have no obligation to inform them at all.  Ex’s and their families are rarely if ever invited to the second wedding.

How about the children?
The biggest difference in many second wedding ceremonies is that they now involve children or even grandchildren of the bride and groom.  It is very important to include these special family members in the wedding.  Make plenty of room in your bridal party for older children, and consider giving younger children the role of flower girl, and ring bearer.  You can even invent your own traditions to get everyone involved.

Who will give away the bride?
Another big difference will be the traditional giving away of the bride.  Many brides choose to walk down the isle unescorted at their second wedding.  When asked “Who gives this woman”, the children may be asked to say “We do.”  Of course, this part of the vows can also be left out altogether.

Is it proper to have a big second wedding reception?
Second weddings customarily tend to be smaller and more intimate gatherings than first weddings.  However, this is a very personal decision.  If the first wedding was an elopement or performed in a courthouse, the bride may still want a chance at her big day.  In this case, it is perfectly acceptable to go all out and create the wedding you’ve always wanted.  Keep in mind when deciding on the size and scope of the wedding, that second weddings are paid for by the bride and groom.

If you’re looking for some less traditional solutions to putting together your second wedding, consider having an event that is more of a small party than a big wedding and reception.  The ceremony can even be performed at the same location as the reception, whether this is a hotel banquet facility or a beautiful outdoor park.  If you have an outdoor wedding, you might even consider following it with a fun and casual picnic.

What to wear for your second wedding ceremony
The theme and formality of your wedding will determine the attire.  For second weddings, you can really choose any type of dress you want.  You may want to wear a cocktail dress or beautiful tailored suit.  You can also use this event as an excuse to buy that lavishly designed gown you’ve always wanted but never had a reason to buy.  If you choose a casual wedding, you can even wear a sundress.

Should there be a bridal shower?
For second weddings, large gifts and bridal showers are generally not held.  However, this will all depend on your situation and the guests that are being invited. Many will insist on gifts, and some may even insist on a shower.  For this reason, it can be acceptable to register for a few items.  However, don’t offer registry information unless specifically asked.

This wedding is your opportunity to create a special day for you and your family that will be a beautiful memory for everyone.  Parents of the bride and groom tend to be much less involved in these weddings, and children can be involved in many aspects of the planning process.  Make sure everyone feels happy and comfortable and create a wedding that defines you and your fiancé as a couple, and a new family.