Mother of the Bride – Role and Attire

October 12, 2008 by BellaB

UNDERSTANDING THE ROLE AND DRESSING FOR THE PART OF THE MOTHER OF THE BRIDE

Mother of the Bride

The Mother of the Bride, or MOB, is a very important role. While decades past often saw the mother controlling and organizing the entire planning process single-handedly, mothers today need to tread a bit more carefully. Today’s brides are often older and usually have their own specific ideas of what they want from their wedding and reception. The MOB today is more of a cheerleader and supporter of the bride.

As soon as the engagement is announced, it is the MOB’s responsibility to arrange for a dinner or lunch with the groom’s parents. She is the hostess not only for this event, but for most subsequent events and parties, including the wedding and reception themselves. Setting a wedding budget is another important responsibility. If the parents of the bride will be paying for the wedding, it is important for the family to sit down together and decide on a budget and what it will be spent on. The MOB often falls into the role of negotiator between her daughter and husband.

The most important factor in determining the further role of the mother of the bride will be her relationship to her daughter. Many brides want their mother along every step of the way, while others prefer to plan the event with their spouse instead. As an MOB it is important to understand what your daughter wants, and be available to help and support in any way possible.

This will usually include visiting wedding and reception locations, looking over various decorations and flowers, and possibly even participating in tastings for the cake and reception meal. The MOB will almost definitely be expected to participate in the ever-important dress hunt. Though some modern couples will go together to look at wedding dresses, the majority of brides consider this one place that the groom is not to set foot.

One of the greater concerns for many MOB’s is the question of attire. The first consideration for attire should be the wishes of the bride. Many brides will strongly prefer a matchy-matchy feel to the wedding and especially the wedding pictures. She may therefore request that the MOB select a dress that matches the bridesmaids. If matching is less of an issue, the mother should select something that complements the formality of the event. Colors to be avoided are black and white. It is also often considered taboo for the MOB to wear anything bright or flashy, such as red.

When selecting her attire, the mother of the bride should look for muted colors, such as silver or lavender. Even if she is not matching the bridesmaids exactly, she should not clash with them. Traditional wedding etiquette states that the mother of the bride selects her dress first, and then informs the mother of the groom of her attire so that she can match. This tradition is rarely followed today, however. As a courtesy, the MOB may tell the groom’s mother about her dress, but she should not expect the other mother to wait or to purchase something exactly complementing her attire.

For some great ideas on mother of the bride attire, check out the following sites: