Inviting Children to Your Wedding

To include the kids, or not to include the kids… how to make this tricky decision.

Inviting Children to Your Wedding

Deciding whether or not to invite children to your wedding and reception can be a tricky choice.  First and foremost should be what you, as a couple, really want.  Do you want your wedding to be truly a “family affair” where your little nieces and nephews can be part of your big day or do you want your wedding and reception to be an adult-only affair?   Do not include children out of a sense of guilt or obligation if it will only cause you more stress.  Be completely honest with yourselves as this can be a big decision in the wedding planning process.

Children are Invited

If you choose to include children, you should be prepared to plan for them.  At your reception, have a kid friendly meal for everyone under a certain age.  Good ideas include chicken fingers, pizza, or macaroni and cheese. Young children will also need to be entertained during the festivities.  Set aside a special corner, or a whole kids’ room if possible.  Provide them with coloring books, games, pinatas and toys.  If you have a whole room available, set up a television and DVD player and pick out some good movies suited for kids.

If you’re going to have a large group of children present, it’s also a good idea to appoint someone to look after them.  Teenagers can be asked to watch the younger kids, but don’t enlist someone too close to the family, as they are likely to resent being stuck with the children when they want to participate in other activities.  You can also appoint an adult or two to be on child watch.  This adult should be prepared to politely and discretely ask a child’s parents to step in when necessary.

The most important thing to keep in mind when inviting children, is to stay light-hearted.  Kids will be kids, so don’t get upset if they make a mess or get under your feet.  Be prepared with a smile and laugh, and enjoy their antics instead of letting them bother you.

Children are Not Invited

If you choose not to invite children,  be prepared for the fact that their parents will likely be more upset than the children are.  You must be firm in your decision, however, and don’t bend the rules.  Some families may opt to decline the invitation altogether if they can’t bring their children.  If this happens, let it go and move on.

If you are inviting several families who have children not invited in the wedding, it’s important to make your decision clear.  Start by making your choice clear to close friends and family and ask them to politely spread the word.  Follow this plan of action by listing only the parents’ names on the invitation.  Some will probably even call you to tell you that they will come with their children thinking that you just forgot their children’s names.  If there’s any confusion, simply explain that this is an adults only event. You shouldn’t feel obligated to explain and justify your decision. This is your wedding, after all.

To accommodate guests with children, you may want to consider offering recommendations for a babysitter in the area, or arrange for more than one babysitter to take care of all the children during the wedding and reception so that the kids get to have a party of their own while their parents attend your adults-only affair.

Whatever your decision, do what feels right to you and stick by your choice. Selecting the right guests for your wedding is an important part of setting the mood and achieving the kind of event that you want.