Wedding Etiquette - Bridal Registry

Bridal Registry Shopping

One of the most fun and exciting parts of planning a wedding is going shopping with your fiancé and selecting items for your bridal registry.  While you can’t politely broadcast your wish list, most guests will ask what kinds of gifts you want to receive.  Therefore, it is important to be prepared with an answer.

The most common way of selecting gifts for a wedding is through a bridal registry.  You can now find bridal registries at almost any store from Crate&Barrel to Target.  Choose one or two of your favorite stores and visit their website or inquire in person about their bridal registries.

You may want to select more than one store for your registry if you can’t find everything that you want in one location.  However, it is best to stick with two and do not go over three separate registries.  When you have multiple registries you must keep very careful track of what you have selected at each store.  Keep in mind that a guest visiting one registry won’t know what the other ones are.  Therefore, if you select two sets of knives at different stores, you could very well receive two knife sets.  If you only want one, you must select a single store to register for that gift.

You should also keep location in mind.  When selecting which stores to register at, select at least one that is a chain.  This is especially important if you have guests coming from a variety of locations.  If everyone receiving an invitation or announcement is located in the same general area, this will be less of an issue, but you should still make sure you select a location that is convenient for everyone.  Most stores also offer online registries that will allow your guests the convenience of ordering gifts online and having them shipped directly to you.

Once you have registered, start getting the word out.  Most guests will find out about your registry through word of mouth.  Your close friends and family and bridal party should all know how to answer the question of where you are registered.  If you have a wedding website, you can also provide your registry information, and possibly even a link, on this page.  It is tacky to add your registry information on your wedding invitation, but when your guests ask you directly, just respond politely, but don’t hesitate to express your wishes.

But what do you do when you receive something that was nowhere to be found on your careful, detailed list?

Obviously this is no problem if you receive something you still enjoy.  If, however, you find yourself gifted with something you would never need or use…you should explore your options carefully.  Hold onto the gift until after the wedding.  Once the event is over and the guests are safely home, you have a few choices.

You are not obligated to keep a gift that you do not enjoy unless it is an heirloom.  In the case of all other gifts, if you know where it came from, you can probably return it.  If returning it isn’t an option, there’s always the dubious method of regifting.  Regifting is still considered by many to be extremely rude, so if you go this route you need to tread carefully.  Never give the gift to someone who might know where it came from (like forgetting to remove the card from the original giver), or who knows the original gift-giver. Can you imagine what would happen if the original gifter finds out what you did.  And never regift something just to get it off your hands.  Only pass the item on to someone who would truly enjoy it.  If the original gift-giver asks after their item one day, be prepared with a quick explanation that it’s packed away somewhere.

If you receive duplicates, you should have a much easier time.  You can return or regift duplicates as well. When either of the gifters who gave you the item asks after it or wants to see it, simply show them the one you kept.  There’s no need to let them know about the mistake.  Unless you get duplicates of something you really would use two of, don’t keep them both.  This will just create clutter in your new home.

Always keep careful track of all gifts as you receive them.  When writing your thank you notes, thank your guests for the gift they gave you.  Even if you didn’t keep it, thank them for that item.  Include notes in your thank you cards that mention specifically why you enjoy the item and what you will do with it. And remember, as much fun as the gifts are, the wedding is about spending your life with your spouse and celebrating your love, whether you get the exact blender that you wanted or not.