10 Ways to Get Your Groom Involved

Making the wedding-planning process a joint effort.

Wedding Planning with your Groom

Many brides have spent so much of their life thinking about their dream wedding that they tend to just take over when it comes to planning the big day.  Add a overbearing mother-of-bride, an anxious mother-of-the-groom, and many men end up showing up to the event with little more than an idea of the time and location.  Instead of taking over all the preparations for the big day, you can use some of these tips to make sure that your wedding is an event that expresses the hopes and dreams of both the bride and groom.

1. Discuss and share your plans from day one.  Before you select a location, a theme, or wedding colors, you should sit down with your husband-to-be and find out what you’re each picturing for your big day. This is the time to let your ideas flow freely. You may later find out that some of your ideas are too expensive or don’t fit with the overall theme, but there’s no harm in sharing them now. You may be surprised at how much you agree on.
2. Leave the groom and groomsmen attire up to your man.  This can be hard for some brides, but relinquishing control of the men’s attire can take a huge load off your shoulders. Just make sure that you’ve agreed on the wedding colors, and if necessary, you can still step in to give your man’s fashion the final approval.
3. Go to tastings together.  What could be better for your husband-to-be than an event that involves delicious food? Another good part of participating in tasting together is that he may be better able to identify foods that some of the guests from his side of the family may enjoy or dislike.
4. Forego a bridal shower and have a joint bash.  Many couples are now having a party for both the bride and groom in place of a bridal shower. If you have a lot of joint friends, and can enjoy this kind of shared event, this may be the perfect option for you.
5. Give over some of your planning tasks to the groom entirely.  Obviously, there are many things that you will not want to give up control of. However, the wedding is meant to be a special day for both of you. I f your future husband has a great ear for music, let him select the musicians and book a DJ or band. You may also want to put him in charge of things such as the limo arrangements. Since the groom’s family traditionally pays for the rehearsal dinner, this is another event that you can leave up to him.
6. Write your vows together.   Writing individual wedding vows is a popular option among some couples. But one thing you should consider, which can bring you and your sweetheart even closer, is to write your vows together and both repeat them.
7. Go through a premarital counseling course together.  Many officiates require that couples go through counseling prior to the wedding. However, even if you aren’t required to do this, it can be a good foundation for your marriage. If you can’t find a course you like, consider investing in one of the many books on this subject and reading it together.
8. Let him surprise you with the honeymoon and wedding night.  The honeymoon is another event that is traditionally paid for by the groom. If you like surprises, consider letting your vacation location be kept a secret. Even if you do want to make the big location decision together, you can leave details such at hotel bookings up to your fiancé.
9. Work on guest lists and seating arrangements together. This is absolutely essential to putting together a successful event. You should make sure that your fiancé gets to invite all the people most important to him, regardless of the fact that the brides family is probably footing the bill. Once you get your RSVP’s back, you should also sit down together and discuss which guests will be best seated together.
10. Let him select the gifts for his groomsmen and family. Customarily, the bride and groom will present all members of the wedding party with a gift. Some couples will also present gifts to their parents and other important family members. If your groom does not want to select these gifts alone, you should at least undertake the task together. This should never be a job performed solely by the bride.